His reserved communication on relationship issues and Carrie's coping with the ambiguity are frequent plot devices.
Carrie repeatedly returns to the relationship even though he is clearly emotionally unavailable to her and unable to meet her needs. Big was emotionally crippled by a series of failed relationships, the subject is often glossed over as him simply being selfish. Big's tendency to take major emotional steps in the relationship more slowly than Carrie is often portrayed as emotional unavailability rather than the caution born of a repeatedly broken heart. Big's inner turmoil as unreachable distance often creates larger issues because of her misplaced feelings of unworthiness, and due to her propensity for not communicating truthfully until too late, results in a lot of painful misunderstandings.
She is on her way to her last dinner with the girls before departing for Paris.
Big attempts to invite Carrie to dinner and drinks in order to apologize for the way he treated her, only to be turned down.
Big ironically asks Carrie when she was going to tell him that she was moving to Paris, a reference to the time earlier in their relationship when Big moved to Napa and almost didn't tell Carrie.But their sexual chemistry always remains just below the surface, and their friendship never remains strictly platonic.After reading Carrie's book, Big begins to understand how much he has hurt her, and he empathizes further when a woman he is dating treats him in a fashion similar to the way Big has treated Carrie: at arm's length, eschewing true intimacy.At one scene he is shown to spend New Year's Eve celebration alone, sitting at a restaurant, but seems to feel comfortable with the situation.The series finale, "An American Girl in Paris", ties together the loose ends of Carrie and Big's relationship and concludes their long, unconventional courtship.Carrie agrees and thus begins their on-again-off-again relationship. When Carrie asks Big if he has ever been in love, he replies, "Ab-so-fucking-lutely".Carrie eventually falls in love with Big, despite his fear of commitment.They break up repeatedly, over the course of two years for those reasons, before Big marries a gorgeous twenty-six-year-old socialite and Ralph Lauren employee named Natasha (Bridget Moynahan) after dating her for only five months.This hurts Carrie, as she wonders why he could take steps with Natasha that he refused to take with Carrie. Big had simply skipped many of the important emotional steps before marriage, many of which he had definitely, if slowly, taken with Carrie, ironically creating the problems of distance and unavailability between Big and Natasha, which Carrie had so feared in their own relationship.The relationship between Big and the celebrity is certainly a parallel between Carrie/Big, except that the celebrity refuses physical intimacy one-sidedly, ignoring Big's overtures except when it suits her, whereas Carrie/Big's problems were almost completely emotional and undeniably two sided.Although it ends up allowing Big to finally get past his inner pain, the comparison is rather crude.