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Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.

Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays—not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups—is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it.

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From the standpoint of anthropology and sociology, dating is linked with other institutions such as marriage and the family which have also been changing rapidly and which have been subject to many forces, including advances in technology and medicine.

I just really believe that love may be possible for me after all and I don’t want to quash any potential dates on the basis of some arbitrary rule.

But it's also tough, she adds, because once you're on the dating scene you can feel like a teenager again, in that shaky, unconfident, not-sure-if-he'll-call sort of way.

“L, you are kind, decent, funny, and attractive but I just don’t feel enough “electricity” (aka infatuation) so I’m going to have to end it.”The biggest obstacle I face it is meeting this expectation of “rock me to my soul connection” fantasy man that even they can’t explain.

Whatever it is, apparently I don’t have enough of it.

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